Adventures In Knitting
by Dragonfly Rider
Summary: [SS 7] Knitting can result in some very weird conversations... Rated for mild language and suggestive themes. OneShot.


A/N: Yes, this is yet another installment in the Secrets Series. Please don't shoot me. You can thank CPQ for the inspiration for the plot and for writing the outline for the latter half of it. You and your obsessions!Cheers, chica:)

Warnings: Mild swearing, some suggestive themes.

Disclaimer: Neither I nor CPQ own Ninja Turtles.

**Adventures In Knitting**

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_Under the fence, catch the sheep, back we come, and off we leap._

Akasha squinted her eyes at the row she had finished. The stitches bunched slightly, and refused to move as she tried to separate them with her fingers. With an exasperated sigh she managed to pull the mess apart and begin another row, this time taking her time, making sure to leave enough slack on the wool to allow the stitches to move freely along the wooden shaft.

Another row.

"Two, four, six, eight," Akasha muttered under her breath, counting off the finished stitches. They slid easily under her fingertips now. "Twenty-eight, thirty, thirty-one." She bit her lip. She had picked up a stitch.

"Well," she told herself as she switched the knitting needles to her other hand and began yet another row, "Will it _really_ matter if my scarf tapers off at one end?" Heartened at this she moved on. Another row finished. She held her project at arms' length, admiring the reddy-pink colours of the dyed wool. It was a foot long now, since she had started it a few days ago. She was happy with the progress that had been made.

"Hey Asha!" Michelangelo strolled over to her. She didn't answer right away, absorbed in her work. The terrapin took in her posture, hunched over, a look of great concentration on her face. A ball of wool was on the sofa seat beside her, and she had a pair of vicious-looking knitting needles grasped firmly in her hands. He blinked.

"What's with the knitting?"

"I'm taking a home-ec course for extra credit this semester," Akasha replied absently, once more counting stitches. When she was done she waved her needles in Mikey's face. "What do you think? It's a scarf for this winter."

"Great, for a granny," Mikey said with a roll of his eyes. He sat down on her other side. She gave him a glare.

"There's nothing wrong with knitting! It's just fallen into the 'old and frail' category," she defended. "I'll bet _you _couldn't do it."

"Huh! I could," he retorted, settling down with his hands behind his head. She scowled and picked at a loose thread in her knitting, silently fuming.

"It's the kind of thing Leo would do," Mikey added. "He'd say it 'relaxes the mind' or somethin'."

"It does, actually," she replied. "Kind of like meditating. You should try it."

"I don't think so, babe."

"What? Would it ruin your sparkling rep?" She smirked. "A woman likes a man who knits."

Mikey perked up. "Really?"

"Yup. Shows sensitivity," she said. He wiggled his eyeridges.

"So if I _do _learn how to knit, do you know anyone who'd be interested in dating a five foot-four mutant turtle?" he asked her casually. She wrinkled her nose.

"Not off the top of my head, no," she responded, dashing his hopes. He pouted at her becomingly.

"Nobody at all?"

"No."

"You're quite sure?"

"_Yes_."

"Party pooper."

"That's me." She bit her tongue as she counted her stitches again. Thirty-five. "Shit, I've picked up another four stitches." She sighed and switched needles again.

"That looks warped," Mikey told her in a confiding manner. He stuck a finger through a large hole she had just made. "How is this going to help you stay warm again?" He ducked her friendly swat but did not see her flick, which hit home on his forehead. He grumbled and rubbed the spot while she chuckled to herself.

"Mikey!" Raphael hollered from the bathroom on the upper level. "Did you use all the toothpaste again?"

"Klunk did it!" Mikey cried in sudden panic, a very fake innocent grin on his face. Raph stormed down the stairs, looking furious. He had obviously just come out of the shower, with water beaded on his plastron and shoulders, and a towel wrapped around his waist. Akasha supposed that in the absense of his belt he preferred to have _something _on rather than be completely naked. She giggled, not used to seeing him without his gear and weapons. Catching sight of her, Raph started.

"Akasha! What are you doin' here so early?" he asked, trying to hide his embarassment. He pulled the towel tighter subconsiously.

"It's eleven," she replied dully, raising a deadpan eyebrow. "When do you usually sleep in to?"

"Shouldn't ya be in school, then?"

"It's Saturday, Raphael."

"Oh." He looked around, mollified then noticed the knitting needles and wool in her lap. He looked at her askance, holding back a snigger. "New hobby?"

"Shut up." She stuck her tongue out, turning back to her work. "You'd do it too if you got an easy extra credit." She picked up the knitting needles, still mumbling. He caught the words 'mutant', and 'highschool'.

"So whatcha doin' here then?"

"Looking for a quiet place to knit," she replied, prickly. "But I suppose I should go –"

"Nah, stay! I'll shut up." He sat down on Master Splinter's recliner, still messing with his towel.

"Good." She continued her work, tugging the string with undue ferocity. "Damn! I made these stitches too tight. It's like it's glued to the needle." She wrestled with it for a moment, then sighed gustily and flopped backward, letting the knitting fall onto the couch. "Maybe this credit isn't gonna be so easy."

"What's easy?" Donatello came in, smeared with engine oil and holding a wrench in one hand.

"Akasha's tryin' ta get a credit by _knitting_," Mikey informed his brainy brother with a snort. Akasha poked him in the arm with her knitting needle, causing him to yelp. "That _hurts_."

"That's the idea," she quipped. She grinned up at Don. "I figured home-ec would be a fairly simple course to take." She frowned at her project. "I'm beginning to think I was wrong." She picked at a stitch. "It's given me new respect for housewives everywhere."

Don chuckled. "Well, good luck with that," he said, gesturing to her knitting. He headed for his lab, paused, and then glanced back at Raphael, clad only in a bathtowel, and shook his head. _I _really _don't want to know, _he thought to himself.

Raph had stopped fussing over his towel now, and was sitting with one elbow resting on his knee, watching Akasha begin to knit once more. She was getting into the rhythm of it now, and he couldn't help his eyes lingering when she braced the needle's head on her collarbone as she drew the stitch off the other shaft. It was rather hypnotizing.

Mikey let loose a rather violent snort, which caused both Raph and Akasha to jump.

"Look what you did!" the latter cried in irritation. "I've lost a stitch _and _the rhythm now." She scowled darkly at the orange-banded ninja, who was guffawing idiotically to him self while rolling about on the sofa. She glared daggers at him, confused.

"What?"

"You an' Raphie-boy!" he choked out. "It's so _obvious! _He was sta – "

The rest of his sentence was cut short as Raphael hurled himself – towel and all – at him. Akasha scooted a bit away from the whirling mass of limbs and shells that was the turtle brothers, laughing. She stopped abruptly as the bathtowel landed beside her, its departure unnoticed by its owner. She erupted into fits of hysterical giggles at this, which roused Raph from his pummeling of his younger brother. Seeing his nakedness, he flushed dark under his green skin tone and grabbed it off the sofa seat, wrapping it around himself firmly once more.

"Come off it, Raph," Akasha scoffed loudly, leaning against the sofa arm. "It's not like I haven't seen it before!"

Silence. Leonardo, who had been at that moment descending the stairs from the upper level, heard her outburst and crashed headfirst down the last few steps. He struggled to regain his composure and his feet while Akasha, just realizing what she had said, clasped her hands to her mouth in shock, shaking her head furiously, denying what she had just uttered. Even Don was roused enough by her exclamation to stick his head out of his lab questioningly.

"Rephrase that, please, Asha," Raph requested softly.

"No! I didn't mean – Ugh! I meant 'cause you always wear a belt!" Akasha was very aware of everyone's eyes on her and ducked her head, knitting at an alarming pace. Don retreated back into his lab.

Leo picked himself up off the concrete, looking a little relieved at her answer, and headed over to them. He leaned on the back of the sofa between her and Mikey, studying her work. "So Asha," he said, purposely using her nick name to rile Raphael's temper, "What are you working on?" Raph grit his teeth hard, trying not to let show his anger that was barely kept under control.

"A scarf," Akasha said. "For home-ec class." Leonardo nodded, thoughtful.

"I've always wanted to know how to knit myself. It seems like a worthwhile thing to learn."

"Oh yeah, Fearless?" Raph sneered. His fury had gotten the better of him. "What would yer first project be? A tea cosy?" Despite his anger he smirked with satisfaction when Akasha laughed at the joke. Leo made a quiet 'hmph' noise, his moment ruined, and stalked off on his way to the dojo. Raph had won this time. It was one of many silent battles that they had, unbeknowest to Akasha, over her affection. It was not the first, nor would it be the last.

Raph relaxed once the blue-banded warrior had left and plopped down on Akasha's other side. "Mind if I watch you?"

"No."

After a few minutes of silence, more peaceful this time, Mikey piped up once more. He was sitting watching Akasha and Raphael with a contemplative expression that neither of them liked. "So have you two ever… you know…?"

"_No!_" Akasha cut him off instantly, blushing hotly. Mikey frowned.

"I wonder if it's even possib… HEY, DONNIE!"

"What?" Don did not appear, but called from within the room.

"Would it be possible for us to… ya know… _do it _with humans?"

Akasha and Raph exchanged mortified looks. There were several large crashes from the laboritory, and a quiet Japanese curse from Don. Finally he stuck his head out once more, looking mightily embarrassed. "Excuse me? What kind of a question is that, Mike?"

"I was just curious!" Mikey said defensively.

"Well," Don said slowly, "I suppose biologically –"

"_Don!_" Akasha snapped. "Do you two _want _to die by knitting needle? 'Cause I can arrange it for you!"

"Heh, no, I'll just go…" Don's head disappeared. Mikey chuckled evilly, but shut up from a glare, courtasy of Akasha.

"So," Raph said pointedly, trying to change the subject to one less humiliating, "How's yer family doin', Asha?"

"They're all fine." Akasha bent over the ball of wool, scrutinizing it critically. "But Mom's trying to make up for lost time by being the 'perfect mother'."

Raph cringed. "That must be fun."

"Oh, loads! When she's not a work she's baking something."

"Why is that a bad thing?" Mikey asked.

"She can't bake to save her life," Akasha sighed. "And do you know what she did the other day?" She waited for them to shake their heads obediently before ploughing on, "For lunch she made me a peanut butter sandwich and an apple."

Raph and Mikey exploded into laughter.

"She even put it in a brown paper bag!" Akasha hid her head in her hands. "My life is over."

"So _that's _why you spend all your time here," Mikey mused out loud.

Akasha looked up. "That's not true!"

"Shell yeah it is! After school ya come down here to do your homework, you're here on weekends, damn, you're sometimes down here before school starts on Monday! You're here when we eat, when we train, when we _sleep_…"

"Well if you don't want me here, I'll just go," Akasha snapped, and made to get up.

"No!"

Mikey and Akasha both turned to Raphael, surprised by his outburst. He flushed again. "I-I mean, don' go, if ya don't want to," he muttered. Akasha shrugged and settled down again, began another row.

Mikey was looking thoughtful again. "So when are you guys gonna –?"

"_MIKEY!_"

The End

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A/N: We feel that knitting is becoming neglected nowadays, so we dedicated a fic to it! It really should be taught to everyone - it's a useful skill, and fun, too! Knitting aside, yes, this fic is probably the most 'suggestive' we've written so far. But since torturing the characters is just to much fun, we couldn't resist! (evil smirks) Please review!


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